beyond understanding

Yet another tragedy happened yesterday: another friend gave birth to a baby who died. His name was Jacob and he lived for a day. His parents go to Muncie Alliance and I taught a Bible study at a youth center with his mom for a couple years around the time Pat and I were married. Kira (the mom) is about my age and she and Scott already have a 15 month old son named Brody. How does this happen to two different people I know in one summer? I don't know. From what it seems on their blog, God is giving this couple peace and is bringing good from this tragedy as Jacob's heart is being used to save other babies' lives. The Bible talks about "peace that passes understanding." It surely does, because none of us understand.

If you're interested, their blog is: scottandkira.blogspot.com

June bugs

(This post is basically a glorified picture-fest, so hang on for the ride!)

June has been a month of outdoor fun for the whole McCrory family. (Even Katya has taken to frequenting the front porch with us.) Pat has enjoyed grilling out (I think...) and Israel is cleaning our front porch with his knees several times a week (and we don't even have to pay him!). One of the most beautiful outdoor times have been the meals we've eaten on Thursday evenings in the best backyard in Muncie (not ours...). We've had that time to hang out with some of the Muncie Alliance interns, which is great, since we don't get to do that as often as we used to. Pictured here is Beka, who has been one of Israel's babysitters. I think he likes her. Adam (with the dreds) and Pat enjoyed some good conversation about all kinds of creative ideas about life. Lisa (in the black and white) has been a wonderful host and provided us with an assortment of quiches and fresh fruits and veggies. These evenings have been laid back and wonderful. The dog plays, Israel explores (sometimes more than we want him to) and we get to enjoy some good company and take in all kinds of beauty. Who could ask for more?














Our garden is in full swing as well. We have had a time with the peas, which the rabbits seem to love, but most of the other things are growing well, including the weeds. We don't get out there as often as we'd like sometimes, but when we do, Pat and Israel and Sophie run around a whole lot. Israel thinks being chased by the dog while in his dad's arms is hilarious. While he doesn't seem to like pulling weeds very much, you can tell he likes being outside by the amount of dirt he brings home with him from these ventures. More often then not, an evening in the garden also means a bed-time bath. And more often than not, a bedtime bath means a funny hairdo to sleep on. This was one of the best.


Israel had another first this month: camping. It wasn't our usual out in the woods, five hours from home camping, but it was nice. We paid a visit to Josh and Michelle and baby Heron. They graciously provided us with all the materials we forgot at home and we slept in the yard where they live on the Lett property in Eaton. (If you were at our wedding, we camped out right about where the tent was for our reception.) I was admittedly apprehensive about the idea, but really wanted to give it a shot to see if we could handle something a little more adventurous later in the year. It went REALLY well! Israel could not have enjoyed himself more and was quite fascinated by the tent. All four of us (that's Pat, me, Israel, and Sophie) slept all night in the tent with no problems other than forgetting our pillows! We cooked over a fire, roasted marsh- mallows after Israel went to bed, and had an indoor pancake breakfast the next morning with Michelle and Heron. It felt like an overnight vacation! Thanks, guys!



In case you can't tell, Israel is growing and growing. We will have his nine month doctor's visit tomorrow to find out just how much! He seems to have temporarily lost interest in walking, as he can crawl and pull himself up in order to get just about anywhere he wants to go. He can wave bye-bye (and say it, too...) when he feels like it, which is most often during meal-time. I don't know why. He likes crawling all over the dog and anyone else lying on the floor. He likes to feed himself now (which makes things both easier and more difficult at the same time). The video below is of when he first started to do it; he's nearly a pro now. His favorite food is currently tofu and he seems to like Pat's lentil-burger recipe quite a bit, even if his mom doesn't like the "end result." He seems to be getting between two and four new teeth. He tries to imitate consonant sounds a lot and gives zerberts when you least expect it. He laughs at strangers as long as they don't try to hold him and is a pretty fun guy to be around if you have the energy to keep up! Here are some peeks at Israel doing the things he does the best.

After the rain

Last night, at about 9:00, we were getting ready to put Israel to bed. The weather had been calm all day, but then, as has happened a couple other times recently, a storm came up. Without warning. The wind started blowing fiercely. Pat and I put Israel in his playpen and rushed around outside in what had become a crazy dust storm to bring in hanging and potted plants and to take down the basketball goal so the rim doesn't get bent further by another fall into the street. While we were running about, another limb fell out of our tree. A little girl's trike blew down the street. The lattice holding back our neighbor's raspberry bushes snapped in two. The rain started and we were safe inside. We put Israel to bed and turned on the TV to see what was going on with the weather. These days, I feel like a tornado could descend on my house at any moment. No tornado this night, though. And the storm passed in a matter of minutes.

We would not have even noticed it, except that the storm was replaced by a bright, orange glow. Pat led the way outside again. It was still raining and you could hear thunder in the distance, but the sky was the most beautiful and strange I have ever seen. On the west, the entire sky was bright orange -- not your traditional sunset. The whole thing was orange. And it was after 9:00 pm. The light penetrated everything. Neighbors came outside to see the light show. We turned and looked east to see a double rainbow that took up that entire half of the sky. I can't recall ever seeing a rainbow like that. We called neighbors and friends to spread the word that something amazing was taking place. A couple of the people we called let us know that they felt very loved by us because we would call them to make sure they didn't miss out on such a thing.

We stood and watched the sky for a long time. I took all kinds of pictures (none of which really did it any justice) and jumped in puddles and decided to let the rain make my hair look funny. We climbed upstairs and bent over to look out our little windows at it. We pushed our way onto the little overhang on our roof to try to get a clearer look. The rainbow evaporated in the time it took for me to dial one more phone number. The sky remained beautiful. Clouds became visible where the orange glow had been and were lit pink and purple by a strip of still-orange glow beneath. It was purely magical. I leaned over the railing to get a couple more shots to remember the evening by. Such pure joy after such a terrible storm. We were still talking about it as we went to sleep. Pat said he thought that sort of a sky spoke about the beauty that takes place when God's light shines into the stormy places.

Over the past couple of weeks, I have been able to visit Trever and Lauren's house. If you don't know them, you may remember from our previous post that they just gave birth to their daughter who died the same day. While I have not yet spoken with them at length, I have interacted with them enough to know that some miracle is being worked on their behalf. They say that they have been given so much peace that, at times, they feel like they should be more sad. Within a week of being home, Lauren was already talking about ideas for how to console and encourage those of us looking to have more children (some sooner than others) so that we would know we need not fear this sort of a thing. Regardless of what happens, she wants us to know God grants peace beyond comprehension. They have been so concerned for everyone else in this process that it is humbling just to know them. I am sometimes afraid to go near them because they are in the middle of something so profound I feel like all I can do is trample it, but they welcome my blundering company. (Just a couple days ago, I all but barged into their house seeking refuge from a mangy old stray dog who wanted to befriend Sophie on our walk. They could not have been more gracious and understanding.) In the middle of this mess, I have been witness to peace and faith and joy and love and perseverance and community and hope that are nothing short of miraculous and that are absolutely beautiful.

The Lord is faithful, beautiful, and strange. He brings beauty from the ugliest of things. Such pure joy after such a terrible storm.

Papa Pia!

Okay, maybe it's not good Italian, but that's how the saying used to go around my house. At risk of being merely a copy cat, I thought I'd put a post up here about my son's father and my husband, Pat. I think letting everyone know what a great dad Pat is is at least as good as a card and maybe better than me just saying so.

I was asked to speak in church today for Father's Day. I was stumped for a bit, because all I could think about was what makes Pat a good dad, which isn't the sort of thing you get up and say as a tribute to all the dads in the room. Besides that, I realized that not everyone in the room would be a good dad in the ways Pat is (not that they are not praiseworthy in their own ways in some cases or beyond redemption in others...). So, while it left me at a quandry as to what to say for father's day to everyone, I became quite thankful that Pat is my husband and the father of my child.

As many of you know, Pat came to Christ out of addiction. And God filled the selfish place that had been in his heart with the gift of service. That is the first thing I thought about Pat being a great dad: he is such a servant. Pat serves Israel and me as well as a host of others and he does not consider himself above doing so in the most mundane of ways. He is the one who changes the majority of poopy diapers around here. (Or at least he does the preliminary cleaning of most of them, since we use cloth. Yuck!) Pat is not one of those dads who wants to come home and be fed and only engage his child when it's convenient. Even now, Pat is in the living room loving Israel and me by taking care of him while he is sick -- rubbing Israel's back as Israel sleeps on his chest. Last night, Pat was right there, consoling and caring for Israel when he woke up screaming with a fever. I suppose one of us alone could've done the trick in getting Israel into a bath at 1:30am, but we all were there together. In the evenings, it's not uncommon for me to find Pat covered in Israel drool and Israel covered in dirt. Pat is not put-off by Israel's spitting-up and will enter into just about any mess with Israel. He's kind of like Jesus like that.

Pat also is a wonderful husband. And that in no means can be separated from his being a wonderful dad. He is kind and helpful to me and respectful of me and he cares about my needs. I know there are many, many families where this could not be said, but if Israel grows up to be someone's husband in the way his father is, we all will be proud.

And that's what I talked about in church. I talked about imitating. Israel already tries to imitate the noises his dad makes; he likes to try to beat-box with him. And fathers are there to be imitated. Boys should be able to grow up to be like their dads and that should be a wonderful thing. Jesus was always doing "only what he saw his Father doing." Earthling fathers are to do no less. And then, if things go according to plan, when their children imitate them, they will find themselves looking to their heavenly Father as well.

This morning, I read the section in Philippians about how we are to imitate Christ's humility, which Pat does this in so many small ways. In the passage, it talks about how Jesus took on human-ness and, more than that, he took on a humble human situation and died a humiliating death. At the end, it says that because of Jesus stooping to the lowest of lows, he is given the highest praise. Both the stooping down and the being lifted up are to the glory of God. So I know it is to God's glory that Pat stoops to things like poopy diapers and dirty dishes now. I know there will be many more trying things ahead, but I look forward to the day when Pat will be praised from the mouth of his child for the father he is, to the glory of God.

When it rains

It's been raining here the last couple of days. Pat is happy about how good it will be for the garden. We hope the plants will all be taller when it dries up and perhaps new soybeans will have sprouted.

It's been raining in all kinds of ways lately.

Our dear friend, Michelle, lost her father this past month. Two weeks later, we celebrated their coming baby with her and Josh and all kinds of friends. This past Friday night, we met their daughter, Heron, for the first time. It was a joyous occasion and I was amazed at this tiny little life and how she is healing the fresh wound of Michelle losing her father. We are dumbfounded at God's mysterious work in this situation.

Our friends Jason and Andrea, who have been hoping to adopt a little girl for several years now finally received word last weekend that they will be parents to the little girl they have longed for this September! We are all rejoicing with them, as we all have been waiting for this little girl together. God has definitely been faithful to them and to us all by bringing them through this process.

Pat's mom came in for a visit and it was wonderful to see her. We usually see her only once a year or so and this time she was able to stay with us at our house for the weekend. There were several nights of staying up late and discussing all kinds of things. There was time spent with brothers and sisters and coming to understand more fully each other's hard times. Things have been particularly disappointing with Pat's youngest brother and events culminated in his going to jail on Sunday night. We are saddened for his little son and the choices that, though not his, will affect his life for years to come. We pray and we don't know what to pray anymore.

We gathered yesterday with our brothers and sisters and sang about God's peace "when sorrows, like sea billows roll." Our community lost a precious life this weekend. Katie Joy was born to Trever and Lauren on Saturday night/Sunday morning and passed away fifteen hours later on Sunday afternoon. We have all been fearfully and hopefully anticipating her arrival and knew that, from her first breath, there would be a battle between life and death. She had many health complications, but ultimately her little lungs just weren't developed enough even to sustain her on life support. She drifted off peacefully in her parents' arms Sunday afternoon after being enjoyed by friends and family for a little while. We all are very near tears at any given moment over this loss, but we grieve as those who still possess hope and know that, for Katie, her life is pure joy, as her name means. Yesterday, we stood with Trever and Lauren as they buried their daughter. Today, we celebrate the anniversary of their marriage with them and the strength God has obviously bestowed upon their union as they worship him in these awful circumstances. No one understands. But we know and trust the one in charge and we don't need to understand.

There are so many thoughts and so few words to really tell of them all. This rejoicing with those who rejoice and mourning with those who mourn at the same time over so many things is...well...a place where words fall short. I feel honored to be involved in both the rejoicing and the grieving. Our life and our God are complicated; trusting him is the simplest thing to do.

We hope to find all kinds of new growth whenever the rain lets up.

lions and tigers and...

This Saturday, we went to the zoo with Pat's mom and some of the extended family. It was a great time. We thought some of you might enjoy pictures of our time there.

Grandma Terri with our nephew, Ethan, and his sister, Sophie. And the bear.

Sophie and the rhino.

Pat and Israel in the African plains in the middle of Indy.

Lezlie and the bear. (Photo taken by our nephew, Dillon.)

Dillon and Pat and the giraffes, which Pat says are the strangest of animals.

Israel. This could have been him with the elephants, the lions, the zebras, or any number of other animals. He took a great nap, which was needed since we were at the zoo for six hours!

Dilllon and the emu, which actually came even closer at some point.

Yes! The walrus! This is by far the best exhibit at the zoo and you'll see why in the video that follows. Israel loved the walrus. (That's Israel standing in the middle of the picture; he is not in the video.) The exhibit was perfect for him. I can't help but wonder what he thought the walrus was...a strange, floating, ugly man with weird teeth?

This has been a busy month for Israel. He has enjoyed several parties (graduations, baby showers, Memorial day festivities, etc.) as well as a trip to Kentucky to see his grandparents,

family, and friends just waiting to ooh and ah over him. We thought you might enjoy pictures of some of the highlights. (If you're not one of those people who can't get enough of Israel, sorry for the abundance of pictures...those who can't get enough have let us know such.)

His "Granna and Papaw's" house was apparently louder than his....

...but there were "new," fun toys to play with. He loved discovering his mom's and uncle Brandon's old toys.


And there were fun people to play with, too! This is Sarah, Brandon's girlfriend and one of Israel's biggest fans.

Standing up was becoming his favorite activity while he was there, and there were plenty of people trying to catch him doing it. This is what it's like to be the first grandchild and first great-grandchild in a family. Israel's Granna and great-uncle Randall are taking pictures. You can't see me, his dad, his uncle, his Papaw, or his Nana, but they're all just watching him, too.

All the added attention didn't keep his dad from having his time, though.... Pat likes getting Israel to make all kinds of noises. This is just one of them.

Israel's busy-ness encompasses more than just his social calendar. On May 3, after seeing his friend, Owen, crawling about at a graduation party, Israel decided it was time to get serious about moving forward. He started crawling. There were many nose-dives at first, but now he is quite skilled at it. This is one of the earlier videos.

He has become even more social, if you can imagine that. He loves having people around and has been interracting more and more with his friend, Judah (Jake and Lauren's son) who is five weeks older than him. They love to both try to play with the same thing at the same time and to talk to each other and to play in their exersaucers facing each other and laugh. They eat together, play together, (used to sleep together, but that's impossible now...) go to the store together, laugh together, and cry together. So here is Judah's cameo.

We had a good deal of fun for Memorial Day. Israel enjoyed being in a nice yard and all the freedoms that came with it. (Okay, so he and Judah weren't really free to ride the "motorcycle" in the picture, but the moms thought it would make a cute shot.) Here are a few more shots from that day, because the day was perfect for taking pictures!

And, lastly, a combination of all of the above: Israel crawling around, with Judah, on Memorial Day!

On being human

This past weekend, Forest, one of our little green corollas, was loaded down with a mom, a dad, a baby, a dog, and a cat all headed from Muncie to Kentucky. What a ride.

We spent the weekend (including my first mother's day) with my family in Kentucky. It was beautiful -- a much-needed break in many ways. I had the breaks afforded me by all kinds of volunteer babysitters who like to help feed and entertain Israel. It was great. I think those cultures where families keep adding on to houses and everyone lives together have one up on us. I had all kinds of not-as-clear things to say about the experience, but really, whoever said, "Many hands make light work," said it best.

Pat and I took advantage of the free babysitting and the beautiful weather to go hiking. We realized I had not been hiking since before I was pregnant with Israel. That means it has been over a year! And we did not go camping last year, either! My soul had been malnourished from lack of mountains and woods. It is in those sorts of places I feel I come alive. I become contemplative. I enjoy small creatures (like the nearly-invisible one on my thumb here). I am happy in conversation or silence. I think about both my past and my future while enjoying every aspect of the moment I'm in. Life should be that way.

The place we visited was only about 15 minutes from my parents' house, a place called Raven's Run. It's a gorgeous place. We like to hike through the fields into the woods, down the side of something between a hill and a mountain, to the creek at the bottom by the shell of an old mill that stands near where the water breaks into all kinds of little waterfalls. A spider was swinging its web over the water when we were there this time; it should've been frightened. There were caterpillars everywhere and many had been stepped on along the paths. I took joy in picking them up, feeling their little legs tickle my hand, and putting them down in more appropriate places. Pat said this is the sort of thing that makes people think I'm weird. I said it seemed hypocritical to go somewhere to enjoy nature and then not to care if you killed all kinds of little animals while you were there. Pat decided to be weird right along with me. I knew I liked him.

I'm including on here a snippet of our conversation on our hike. Pat said I should, otherwise "it will just get lost in a bunch of videos and won't ever be used for anything." There is a certain turn of the path that inevitably makes us feel like we're in Lord of the Rings. This is the conversation that ensued. (Turn his up and turn mine down though...as you all know, I'm loud and he's kind of a mumbler.)

Pat: riding the line between a hobbit and a human


Lezlie: a human wishing to be an elf

It felt wonderful to be out and away from the normal life for a couple hours. (I can't imagine how great it will feel when we are able to go camping for a couple DAYS!) There was nothing to clean, no sounds of cars' stereo systems or squealing tires, no straight-lined structures (okay, expect for a little bridge here and there...). All around was the sound of water trickling, birds chirping, squirrels scampering, and leaves in the wind. I have been reading short stories by Tolstoy lately. In each of them, there is talk of the virtues of country life and the perils of life in the city with all its vice. While I disagree with the way his characters speak of the city as the cause of vice, as though one could not help being otherwise in the city, I can see his point.

There were a couple of times on our hike that I stopped to

notice a particularly striking tree that seemed to have died. I liked the structure of the trunk and was disappointed to find the tree standing there, dead. Both times, I was relieved to see leaves begin at the very top of the trunk, as though all hope was not lost and there was still life left in the thing. But upon closer inspection -- both times -- the piece of architecture tree was standing beside a thin, living tree that was growing up through it, causing it to appear alive when it was not. Being everywhere surrounded by other people's lives, sometimes I begin to be afraid that I am nothing more than an interesting piece of human architecture -- a shape that, while having a place among the goings-on, doesn't change or grow. When I feel myself slipping into the entirely-predictable mold I have made for myself, it is great to get away into the wild sights and sounds of nature and to be reminded that I am alive and part of a changing, growing world.

Pat said on our hike, "It feels like we belong here...like this is more our home than anywhere else." Perhaps, then, we really do live as "aliens and strangers" in the flat, urban landscape of Muncie with all its man-made sounds and problems -- perhaps more than we are sometimes aware. And that makes our times of retreat all the more special and wonderful. Just a short visit "home" to the woods and I come out feeling human and alive again, mindful that I am to grow.

Mama Mia!

After dating Lezlie for a month or so I realized that I couldn't continue to date her anymore. After getting to know her for a couple of months I told her I didn't feel like she could represent me to the world -- her values and mine weren't compatible. I thought (and still do) that your spouse is someone that the world identifies with you and the things that you are about. So we broke up and there was a year or so when we weren't together. Then there came that crummy day when one of my dear friends died, and I asked Lezlie to take an important phone call for me. She knew (although I hadn't yet realized it yet) that my asking her to do that meant that I thought she could now represent me. The longer I get to know my wife and the more that we grow together, the more I come to see that not only does she represent me well but she represents my intentions and hopes better than my actions themselves do. This blog, the way I see her raise Israel, and stay in touch with you folks inspires me to live more like her, and reminds me of the person who I want to be. So while I have a few moments this Mother's Day I wanted to tell all of you how great my wife and this first year mother really is. Thank God for my wonderful Lezlie Jo!

Hi, there! It's Israel. I thought I'd show you (with my mommy's help, of course...) some of the things I've been doing lately!

I have really been enjoying seeing all my older friends come around the house. I love watching them play basketball outside. They are loud and funny and like to make me laugh. This is (from left to right) Elijah, my mom, me, Syloer, and Schaivon just hangin' out, having quesedillas for a snack. (Don't worry. I didn't eat one.)

This is me in the bathtub. I love playing in the water so much my mom lets me do it every morning. I like to chew on the rubber ducks and suck on a wet washcloth. I think the drain is really cool and I also like to lay on my belly and splash around. (Mom gets really vigilant when I do that, though, and I don't know why.) You can see more about my bathtime in this video. I'll tell you all about it.

In this next video, you'll get to hear the new song I'm coming up with. I think I'll call it, "Boom, Boom, Chink, Chink." I took a long time this morning coming up with it; I'd bet I tinkered around on it for at least 15 minutes!

And, in this final video, you'll get to watch just how well I chew food up now. This was the first time my mom finally realized I could chew. (Did she tell you I'm getting in two more top teeth? That'll make six teeth total. I'm very good at addition.) I had to be very obvious about my chewing ability at first, but now that my mom gets it, I can mellow out. She thought this first time was pretty funny, though, so we agreed to put it on here for you.

By the way, I now think that tofu is my favorite food.

Well, I guess that's it for now. It was good to be able to catch up for a little bit. I hope you enjoyed our time together! Bye-bye!