family pictures

Christmas is a great opportunity for a family photo. Everyone's together and happy. So we take a picture of everyone together and looking happy. We woudn't want to miss a shot of everyone...all together...looking (at the camera)...happy! It's one of life's simple treasures.

But let's be honest. Here's the real story of this year's family Christmas picture.

It was more of a quick-fix upon realizing that we hadn't taken a picture when we actually were enjoying Christmas together. So we called Brandon and Sarah to dress nicely and come back over. The rest of us managed to cut Israel's hair (which disappointed his Aunt) and give both kids a bath, fix their hair, and put on nicer clothes ourselves (even my pretty-sick father!) in not much over half an hour. Friends/in-laws showed up just in time to witness the event. My lovely daughter has broken the flash on my camera (which I don't like using, anyway). Dad found and set up a tripod. I arranged the lamps in the room just-so and took a test shot before involving any children. You know, to save needless chaos.

Yeah. That was about right. Re-arrange the superfluous furniture...add the rest of the people, and check the formation:


Wow. I couldn't tell on the small screen everything that was wrong with that picture, but the shadow people were creepy.
So we had our friend, Tim, hold the table lamp up at an appropriate height for the rest of the shoot while his wife, Robin, held down the shutter, per my instructions. I didn't know that my camera would stop taking four shots in a row, preferring to take a shot every 2 seconds or so. This made all the pictures completely unpredictable. I could hardly believe it when I took a look through over 50 pictures to find NONE of them fit our criteria of everyone together, looking their best, and smiling. But I think this is its own kind of better. Here's a real picture of family pictures. Enjoy them more than we did then and as much as I do now! (They may be best viewed by clicking on one of them and then seeing them in succession.)

.

Not bad...we just need to ALL look at the camera.

and not be hysterically happy...

or silly

whatever it is, Brandon, stop it!

alright, except for mom...

Too crazy. Swap kids.

fix Eden's hair...

...and nose-picking...now if we could just get the adults to cooperate...

Eden, just sit still with your hands on your lap!

...but not like THAT.ugh. ISRAEL!
tell the kids to sit STILL!but also to smile... but not a silly, too-big smile....
And then I lost it.

Oh well.

Family pictures.

Is it only like this for us or does this sound like your house, too?

dinner nativity

This will be our first Christmas with the four of us at home. Israel is at a really fun age where expectation can be built and meaningful things understood. Eden also is demonstrating that she understands stories and gets excited over simple things. It's fun times around the holidays.

I feel this great freedom in being home to start our own traditions and to focus on Jesus during this time (all things about it not being his actual birthday aside). We didn't do as well as I would have liked with Advent this year, but I love the whole season of waiting for Jesus' light to come into the world. And now is the time to celebrate that light. But how to communicate that to the kids? I wanted to have a special meal with them, but I don't think great adult food communicates a celebration to a 1 and 3 year old. I searched the internet for ideas for a way to tell the Christmas Story through a dinner. There wasn't anything. So we made up our own. There were good ideas given to be over facebook, too, but I didn't have the ingredients on hand for those. So we made do with what we had, and I think it turned out well. We made the different foods, set them out on the table, and put them on plates as we told the story. So here is the story of the nativity as told through a candlelit dinner.


One night, a long time ago, in a land across the ocean, a star appeared in the sky. It was a bright star. (Let's paint our star really bright.)
Do you know what the star was telling people?
- Stars don't talk, mom.
You're right. Do you know why the star was there? Someone was born. Who was born?
- A Savior.
And what does a Savior do?
- Rescues the people.
That's right!

That same time, there were shepherds out in the fields, watching their sheep. Let's make our field.... And suddenly an angel came to the field! And the angel said, "Don't be afraid! I have good news for you! Our Savior has been born in a stable. You'll find him lying on some hay in a manger." And then a whole bunch of angels (putting them all on the field...) came and started singing and celebrating!


The shepherds ran off and sure enough, there was the manger. Who was in the manger?
- Baby Jesus!
Right! Here's some hay for a manger and can you put baby Jesus on the hay? There! The shepherds went to go see baby Jesus!


Of course, Eden had already been eating the heads off the angels and had eaten baby Jesus too, and kept asking where baby Jesus went. The obvious answer: Jesus is inside you! :)

If you want to know what the various things on the plate are, aside from their symbolism, here's the role call:

The part of the star was played by your favorite crab or tuna cake recipe, formed in a star cookie cutter and carefully fried. It was made to shine by a mustard, mayo, yogurt sauce.

The field was played by sauteed green beans and the angels were played by potato slices, cut, salted, and sprinkled with pepper, paprika, or coriander.

The hay was played by chopped apples mixed with honey and a little vinegar and cinnamon.

Baby Jesus was played by two marshmallows and a golden raisin on a toothpick with melted chocolate dots for eyes.

to santa or not to santa...?

So, this year, Israel is not old enough to know the difference. Next year, though, the issue will have to be addressed in some manner or other and some trajectory will be set for Israel's relationship with the most perfect being ever to not exist: Santa.

When the hypothetical parenting discussions between friends took place years ago, my approach was to brush off the "Santa" issue as not a big deal and not worth really thinking about. After all, I can tend to over-think things and that was one thing I didn't want to over-think. I really enjoyed Santa as a kid. And I don't think my whole "I don't believe in God anymore because God is just something my parents taught me to believe in" time of life would have been avoided had they been bluntly honest with me about Santa's non-existence. I don't think Santa is evil and I don't think celebrating Santa coming at Christmas means a person can't or doesn't also celebrate Jesus coming at Christmas. That said, we realized this year that even if we say nothing about Santa, the question will come up for Israel and we will either give him presents from the jolly old elf or we won't. Here are some of the pros and cons we talk about.

Pros:
- We both REALLY liked Santa growing up. We liked the surprise element of the presents. We liked his character and we liked the adventure of trying to catch him at his work. I liked the mystery of putting out cookies and "witnessing" him having eaten them in the morning, though I slept through his visit.
- Neither Pat nor I had traumatic experiences figuring out that Santa wasn't real; in fact, neither of us remember "the" Christmas when it happened. We don't remember anyone breaking the news to us, though I seem to remember one year finding out that my older cousins didn't believe in him. I don't think I ever had a direct conversation about it with my parents. I preferred to figure things out for myself and put the question to the big guy himself one year in my letter to him, which he answered satisfactorily enough.
- We don't want to have that kid who tells all the other kids Santa isn't real and we don't want our kids to think kids who believe in Santa are stupid.
- We don't like the idea of well-meaning adults asking our kid what Santa brought them and our young child answering, "nothing," or, "We don't believe in Santa." At Christmas time, that is cultural suicide. And we don't want people to think that we miss out on fun because we celebrate Jesus's birth and not Santa during the season.

Cons:
- My first inclination not to teach Israel that Santa is real was that I just didn't feel like it. I don't feel like trying to find out exactly what the kids want each year and buying that "best" present only to give the credit for that work to "Santa." If I'm going to get my kid the bomb present, I want him to know that I did it because I love him, not think that Santa brought it to him because of how good he was the previous year. Along those lines, I don't want to be stuck giving my kids the second-best present every year.
- As a kid, I did not like that, contrary to the news spread about the situation, bad kids got presents at least as cool as mine. I don't want my kids to hear that they had better be good to get presents only to have that mean kid down the street get the latest version of Nintendo. Though perhaps it is an accurate picture of the way things are on earth, it is a screwed-up version of justice, since Santa is supposed to know how everyone behaves and reward accordingly.
- The idea of a fat, bearded man knowing when I'm sleeping creeps me out.
- I don't want to have to reinforce an idea that is not true. This is strange, because I don't think it's unethical to tell your kid Santa exists and have absolutely no problem with parents playing the "Santa" game with their kids. However, I don't want to ever have to tell my child to believe in Santa. And I don't want to be put in the awkward situation of admitting, after years of reinforcing Santa's existence, that it was all a hoax and I had led my kid to believe an untruth. Even now, I like being able to ask kids in my life whether I have ever lied to them and them having to admit that I have not. I want my kids to be able to take me at my word, even though this is kind of a trivial matter in our culture. (You don't think a person is a liar just because they say Santa is real.)
- I don't want to wait in long lines places to have my kid tell Santa what he wants for Christmas or to get pictures with Santa. I haven't even paid to have Israel's pictures taken with me, for goodness's sake! Besides, Santas are scary-looking unless they have real beards.
- We want to really be able to celebrate Jesus's birth at Christmas. There are MANY distractions and obstacles to this besides Santa. We may or may not be able to overcome all of them as we look to set our family Christmas traditions. But Santa is one distraction that is pretty easy to eliminate if we want to.
- I don't like that all the magic of the season is summed up in Santa in our culture. I know we don't have to pass that aspect of Santa on to our kids even if we play the game. But it's a whole lot easier not to send the message that Santa represents all things good and right and hopeful about the world and those in it if we teach our kids that he is not real, but that God is. Santa plays a role in our culture that is a little too close to God's rightful role for my comfort. Of course, all Christians would rather our children know God as the one who knows everything, gives good gifts to people near and far, has the grip on the scales of justice and is able to do things that are physically impossible (a fat man going down the chimney? really?) or miraculous than to think that those traits are embodied in Santa. Perhaps it is not an either/or situation, but as a kid, it was a lot easier to get excited about Santa, who adults said had those traits, than it was about God, who adults said had those traits. And even if all we do is put gifts from Santa under the tree, it puts us in the awkward place of having to validate all the stories other people and the songs and all that say about him. I don't want my kids thinking Santa is the best thing ever when he doesn't even exist!

But then, there is a strong pull toward Santa and we really mean that part in the "pro" section of not wanting to be spoil-sports at Christmas. We want our kids to be excited about it and to have the same sort of magical feelings about Christmas time that we had growing up. Can that be done without Santa? Of course, it should be able to be done. We're thinking through how we could go about it. Christmas is supposed to be a celebration and Jesus certainly enjoyed those as much as the next guy when he was here. God even mandated that the Jews celebrate many holidays a year -- more than I celebrate in a given year. So a full-out celebration is in order. We have trouble figuring out how to make a celebration about Jesus, though. Things about Jesus tend to involve silence and prayer and scripture-reading and all that. They are somber and contemplative. But that is part of what Advent is for. This is Christmas we're talking about!

Some of our ideas for solutions have been:
-Writing thank-yous to Jesus in place of letters to Santa. Or even having the kids write requests to Jesus instead of to Santa (though letters like, "Dear Jesus, please bring me a Wii," would be problematic).
- Throwing a party, with presents and good food. This is already done somewhat, with the gifts and elaborate meals at Christmas time, but it could be built upon.

What is difficult is that Christmas is spent, not at church, but with family. For some reason, living rooms and sanctuaries are completely different spaces and we don't do the same things in one as we do the other. As you read in my previous post, the Christmas celebration at our church was great and I'm sure some people (kids in particular) broke a sweat in their celebration. And that time was certainly about Jesus, as celebration and worship combined. It seems odd to think about doing such a thing with extended family, though, since we never do anything spiritual together besides utter a prayer before a meal. I don't see most people's families coming together, playing great music, worshiping, and dancing in the living room before preparing and eating a feast. That is the sort of thing (some) churches do.

Now, I know that most of the people in our particular families will probably celebrate together with us in Heaven. In that way, being with blood family and being with brothers and sister in Christ has the potential to be the same thing here. But doing church at family gatherings is just...awkward. And forced. It's not what people around us do and we're not into trying to make people do things or say things or pretend things just because it's Christmas and that's as true for belief in Jesus as it is for belief in Santa. Religious topics are so divisive and somewhat taboo in families -- even Christian families -- and it's hard to think of a non-awkward way to bring religious practices into family life. But Pat points out that, though this is part of our "how do we do Christmas now that we have children" conversation, it is a digression from Santa. And we can't digress from Santa.

We left the conversation pretty open-ended this year. Maybe it will be a little less open-ended next year. Maybe we will make some decisions based on our ideas of what would be the ideal way to celebrate Christmas; maybe some of these decisions get made for us by way of convention. Maybe some of you do things you have found to be great at Christmas time that we have not thought of and will share them with us. (Maybe we'll use your ideas and maybe we won't.) Maybe we should pay closer attention to the kids, who are really good at celebrating on their own. Maybe, we'll just put gifts under the tree from "?" and when the kids ask if Santa is real, we'll say, "Maybe."

advent: we will celebrate.

I wish I had taken my camera to church this morning. During advent, I have planned this small part of the service: I pick a passage, ask someone to talk about it, prepare a responsive reading, and ask someone to read it. I sit back and watch what happens. This Sunday the theme was the angels and celebration. I know you hope for this to happen every Sunday, but there are some services, such as this one, when you can sense keenly that God must've organized the time.

For starters, the children were all in service for worship this Sunday, ages 1 month and up. The band played "Go, Tell it on the Mountain," to start and it was the most celebratory rendition of the song I have ever witnessed. The kids from the neighborhood added stomps and hand-clapping. Little girls in dresses, jeans, and pink camo pants spun in circles, holding each others' hands. Adults danced with babies on their hips and a 9-year-old boy clapped and sang loudly while sitting on someone's shoulders. Teenagers were smiling. The celebration took over the front part of the room, just inches (at times) from the guitar player. Normally, I would be the first to jump up and try to corral the kids off to the side, but it was clear that though they had not been asked to, they were leading worship.

The nursery (ages 1-4 at our church) sang "This Little Light of Mine" and "He's God the Whole World in His Hands." These are not Christmas songs, per se, but light is definitely one of the themes of Advent. Particularly beautiful about the time was watching one of our youth, the third of eight children in her family, holding her youngest sister. The little girl, who is less than two, pointed her finger high during "This Little Light of Mine" and stood up straight while her older sister moved her hands along to the motions of "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands." Sometimes I despair that these particular children are raising themselves and each other in so many ways, but today the scene of the older teaching the younger brought me to joyful tears.

...As did the scene of the black children and the white children, the middle-class children and the poor chidlren, dancing together without realizing what a powerful image they were making.

...As did scanning the congregation to see adults making circles with their arms above their heads and smiling during "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands."

...As did the older children taking over the song the Sunday School workers were teaching them and doing their own stomp and clap version of "Joy to the World," complete with hip-hop echoes of each line. Only one of the children singing had parents in attendance, but we all cheered when they finished because they are all our kids.

Maybe I'm a bit more emotional than usual because I'm pregnant, but I cried off and on through nearly the whole service. It was the best celebration I have seen in quite some time...most of it impromptu.

I asked one of the "older" couples in our church (they would not be labeled such in most any other church they could attend) to lead the advent time this week. They are a zaney couple and the wife in particular is one of the best celebrators I've met. The characters for this week were the angels. I think they had quite a great job, bringing all the great news to the earthlings. Eric, the husband, read in Luke 2 of the angels making the announcement to the shepherds. Brenda spoke about the other times in Advent that angels made announcements. When Gabriel showed up to Zechariah and told him he and his wife would have a son, Zechariah did not celebrate the good news with the angel; instead, he asked for proof. That lack of belief led to Zechariah being silenced for the next many months. When Gabriel showed up to Mary and told her she would bear God's son, Mary submitted and that submission lead to a time of celebration with Elizabeth that even included Elizabeth's son in utero, who leapt for joy from his place in the womb. When the angels showed up to the shepherds, they joined the celebration and worshipped. When confronted with our good news, do we spread it by celebrating or is our joy silenced by cynicism?

We have been given so much to celebrate. Not only do we have the good news of Christmas, but we also have the good news of the cross. We have gifts in this life and milestones that are to be celebrated. We are unconditionally accepted as God's own children and loved with a love that is not affected by our bad behaviour. Brenda listed many things she is celebrating this Christmas and others, including children in the congregation, took her up on her invitation to verbally list some things they celebrate today as well. We all have many reasons, both universal and individual, to celebrate.

In the absence of a youth to read today's reading, I had my friend Lauren do it. She came up with her one-month old daughter and led us through the reading. She's the only person I know who can do justice to a reading with exclamation points in it without sounding staged. And tears streamed down her face and mine we were reminded of all the joys given and promised to us as Children of Light.

-----------------------------------------------

The angels received good news from the throne of God. Their joy at the news turned into a celebration that was brought to the shepherds. As we come today, let's join in the celebration that began at God's throne and will go on into eternity when we all gather at that same throne. After I read each line, please respond by saying: “We will celebrate!”

There is good news for all the people.

It is good for the poor, young, unmarried mother.

It is good for the well-dressed, old priest.

It is good for us.

The angels brought good news.

We will bring good news.

The Light has come to the world!

Children of Light, nothing is better than this!

Come, let us dance in the light of the Lord.

He gives us peace with God.

He gives us peace with each other.

We are different.

We are one in Christ.

On the street to the new Jerusalem,

On the streets of Muncie,

We will lift our voices together.

With each other,

With those around the world;

With those who have gone before us,

With those who will come after us,

With the angels;

The Spirit and the Church say, “Come!”

If you hear the invitation, say, “Come!”

When you come, Lord Jesus,

Because you come, Lord Jesus;

O, Christmas Tree!

About this time last year, three McCrorys headed out to a local Christmas tree farm and cut down our Christmas tree. The three years before that, there were two McCrorys; next year there will be four. It's a growing tradition for us, I suppose. Last year, Israel was small enough to be placed in a carrier and zipped up underneath Pat's coat to be kept warm. This year, we had quite a bundling job to do and he ended up looking and moving like the little brother in the movie "A Christmas Story." (You know the movie about Ralphie and the red rider b.b. gun.) Though seriously encumbered in his walking and though he fell on his face in the snow several times, Israel seemed to enjoy himself overall.




Once home, and after a nice winter's nap, we set about decorating. Israel liked "helping" by hanging as many gold rings off the same low limb as he could. (Word to the wise: don't let your 1-year-old handle the ornaments while decorating if you're going to try to tell him not to touch them once they're on the tree. He brings us gold ring ornaments every day.) Here are a couple pictures of Israel helping decorate the tree.

getting the ornaments out of the tin

hanging them on "the branch"

admiring a job well-done

Israel loves the Christmas tree. He knows how to say "lights" in sign language and will often flash his hands and point at the tree. He has a few select ornaments he loves as well. I'll let him show you his three favorites: Mickey Mouse, which I think he likes because of Pat's high-pitched impersonation of his laugh, a small snowman he calls, "maannnn," and a sheep he likes to mimic by making a sound like he's choking (which represents, "baaa...."). Enjoy!

advent: we will have hope

This marks the first week of advent. Sunday was the first Sunday of the season, so you aren't too far behind if you've missed it.

We greatly appreciate the season of advent each year as it helps us focus on the reason we have something to celebrate this time of year. By the time Christmas comes, I feel as though I have been waiting for it a long time and am ready to burst. Though, to be honest, Christmas always feels like a let-down after Advent because I'm not at some great party where we all sing songs and dance because Jesus came to earth. No, more likely than not, I'm looking for so-and-so's present and eating food I didn't even have the joy of making. (Pat and I are strange people who actually LIKE the idea of hosting large meals, except for the dishes.) Advent, however, is more what I want out of Christmas...just lacking in full-out celebration.

I love advent because of its paradoxical nature: we look both backward and forward at the comings of Christ. Both comings give us reason to hope and reason for great longing. We see so much wrong in the world and ourselves that the "then and not yet" of Christ fills us with a yearning akin to that of lovers apart. On the one hand, it is wonderful to have as your own a person so worth missing. On the other hand, to know the thing that you miss is more difficult perhaps than not knowing what you were missing to begin with. At this time every year, we take the chance to fully miss Jesus not being here while being entirely grateful that he came in the first place and looking forward to seeing him again.

This year I am in charge of the advent proceedings at our little church. After doing a bit more research online, (if you'd like to see what I saw, go here for a bit of history and here to see a newer take on the church tradition.) I decided to write responsive readings for our youth to lead after an adult shares what that week's theme and character mean in his or her own life. The character for this week was the prophets (we read Isaiah) and the theme was hope. The couple who shared their thoughts are our friends who were able to adopt a little girl this year. They had felt for years that God wanted them to adopt a little girl through no conventional means and they spoke about how being given a promise by God can make you feel crazy and going for years without seeing the promise fulfilled makes you feel even crazier for believing it in the first place, bringing up all kinds of questions about the Promise Maker and the believer alike. However, seeing one of God's promises fulfilled is an unbelievable gift -- much better than you would have dreamed based on the words of the promise alone. God gave us the promise of His Son to the prophets long ago and when we look at the world, we can still have hope because of those same promises. And we know from particular instances (such as theirs) that the way God keeps His promises doesn't tend to look the way we would imagine it to, but is instead a better fit than we could've imagined. If I am ever able to get a copy of what they wrote to share, I will happily share it with you, as it's better written than I can do justice. However, I will share what I wrote on the subject and invite you to read along with our congregation in the coming weeks of Advent.


God has given light to the world.
We will have hope.
We live in a world full of darkness.
We will have hope.
When we see problems we can't solve.
We will have hope.
When we see a problem solved.
We will have hope.
When we don't understand why.
We will have hope.
When the bad guy wins.
We will have hope.
Because the bad guy will not win in the end.
We will have hope.
When our friend has failed us again.
We will have hope.
When we have failed again.
We will have hope.
When we see the evil in the news.
We will have hope.
When we see the evil in our hearts.
We will have hope.
Even though the world is broken.
We will have hope.
We know someone who can save the world.
We will have hope.
We know someone who has saved us.
We will have hope.
We know someone who will keep saving us.
We will have hope.
Because we are broken.
We will have hope.
Our Savior has promised to come again.
We will have hope.
Advent happens more than once.
We will have hope.
Like the prophets, we look forward to His coming!
We will have hope.