Happy father's day!

I've been reading A Year of Biblical Womanhood by Rachel Held Evans. I have been refreshed reading what she has to say, especially about Proverbs 31. You may know that as the chapter in the Bible devoted to "The wife of noble character." I realize this seems like a funny place to start thinking about Father's day, but hang in there. As I was thinking about how to properly praise the fathers in our church today, I was reminded from Colossians 1 that our prayers for others spring out of our thankfulness for their good works. We are thankful for every good work that they do and we pray that God will cause each and every one to bear fruit.

So back to Proverbs 31. So often we women (and maybe the men, too...I don't know...) read it as a checklist of things a good wife needs to do. Read like that, the list is exhausting and defeating. But Evans quotes Old Testament scholar Ellen Davis who says Proverbs 31 was written "not to honor one particularly praise-worthy woman, but rather to underscore the central significance of women's skilled work in a house-hold economy." Evans later tells of a Jewish friend of hers who says men sing the chapter to their wives before sabbath meals. How affirming! Reading it like this, I thought it was a shame such a chapter doesn't exist in the Bible that helps women know how to really praise their good men. It's amazing how being told you are something in this way makes you feel appreciated and also makes you feel like rising to the occasion. We all need these sorts of praises sung over us from time to time, and today is the day for Fathers. 

In keeping with my current ideas about Proverbs 31, I didn't want to write about just one husband in particular, so I asked women and children in our church to let me know some of the good works the fathers in our church should be praised for. I got quite a response and easily filled verses with the good works fathers I know do every day. My hope is that men will see themselves somewhere in these words and know that they are appreciated and encouraged as they continue on in good works. Chances are we all have some valiant fathers in our lives. Let's give them the praise they deserve!

A valiant Father, who can find?
He is worth more than diamonds and gold.
His family has full confidence in him
and has everything that is truly valuable.
He brings good to his family
every single day.

He knows his way around the kitchen
and he grasps the grill lid with seasoned fingers.
With his own hands, he grows food
and guests and neighbors always have a seat at his table.
After dinner, he faithfully does the dishes.

He gets up while it is still night
to pray with and encourage his brothers.

He considers a business and buys it,
and out of his earnings, provides for the community.

He takes his work seriously.
His mind and body are strong for his work.

With excellence, he selects wood
to build toys that fuel his children’s imaginations.
All through the day, he goes with them on adventures,
showing them how to have courage and fight the good fight.
Even when they are grown, he works day and night
to help his children achieve their dreams,
working to ensure their success.

His car is profitable in his use.
He considers it nothing to drive miles and miles
to ensure his children can spend time with their family,
even with their mothers.
He opens the passenger door for those in need
and extends his mileage to help out.

He ensures his children love their mother,

leading by loving his wife,
And he gracefully shares her burdens.

His eyes eagerly seek out his children
and love is in his gaze.
His ears are always ready to listen.
They are patient in their task.

He sets out early to find work,
and is able to trade with neighbors.
When times are hard, he has no fear,
but faithfully uses all his abilities, laboring hard to provide for his family.
His teaches his children how to conduct business
and they are able to follow in his steps.

At bedtime, he kneels and prays.
He sings over his children. His voice is the delight of their ears.
All through the night, he provides relief for their mother
by answering their call for help and comfort.

He has a place among the decision-makers and do-ers in this city,
striving for a good place for children to learn and grow.

He is clothed in strength and dignity.
He can look forward to the years to come.
His advice is trustworthy,
for he speaks over his children the very word of God.

His children recognize him as a blessing
Their mother, also, praises him.
“Many fathers are good, but you are the BEST!”

Flattering words are deceptive and muscles are fading,
but a father who puts God first is to be praised.
Honor him for all that his hands have done,
and let his good works make headlines!

 

questioning leadership

Recently, I've been encountering situations of various magnitudes that put before me a choice: hope or despair. These are situations that cause me to wonder about my own purpose in life and my relationship with God. I wonder about what I can do and what God can do and what it means to pray. I have questions about what being rescued or "saved" means for people who continue to lead difficult lives. It can really weigh me down at times, even when my own life is fine. I see children with very difficult home situations, adults with children who break their hearts, children born with conditions that make life more difficult, and the myriad ways people are affected by other people's sin.

These are things I really wrestled with in college. The difference is that back then, most of these situations were hypothetical. I knew they were probably happening somewhere. So I had it out with God over the "problem of evil," also sometimes put as "Why do bad things happen to good people?" or "Why do bad things have to happen to ANYONE?" I was really calling unto account God's ability to make good decisions. I promised myself two things during that time: 1.) I would never be afraid to question things down to that level again, and 2.) I would question thoroughly so I would never have to do it again.

So when I find myself asking similar questions now, some 10 years later, I do what I can to keep both promises. I decide to just go ahead a lay it all out there, knowing I likely will get no more answers this time than I did the last. And I didn't get ANY answers during that crazy time of questioning God. I just got to know Him. He didn't explain Himself to me or anything. What's different now is that I don't expect Him to.

Something else that is different this time around is that I am some manner or other of spiritual leader. While I am re-wrestling with God over the things I see going on in the lives of my girls or their friends, or others, I'm also trying to lead them through their wrestling, too. When I'm having my own questions about how to know I've heard God, I'm being asked questions about how to hear God. When someone asks why God hasn't answered their prayer for rescue, I'm asking the same question. Don't hear me wrong. I don't think it's a human's job to know all the answers. Somehow I was just expecting to know a few more....

This Sunday, the girls were over. We've been learning stories that go straight through the life of Christ, which I'm trying to conclude before our Christmas party. This means that I had to teach the entire week of the Passion in one hour. In order to simplify, I made a sort of virtual felt-board to help keep track of the characters and who was where when. Starting out, we have Jesus and his 12 disciples. (I don't really think Jesus was a head taller than everyone else....)

He's washing their feet and sharing what he knows will be his last meal with them. He also knows that one of the guys whose feet he just washed, named Judas, is going to betray him. He tells him to go ahead and do it. (I don't think I'd do that.) So then it's Jesus and the 11.

He tells them about how he's preparing to die and how he will go to prepare a place for them so they can be together again. He takes the bread and says, "This is my body," and rips it in two. He takes the wine and says, "This is my blood," and pours it out. He has to be kind of freaking out inside. They sing together and he asks his close friends to come and pray with him up on the Mount of Olives. I can imagine he wants some company on what he knows is going to be a very difficult night. So there we have Jesus with Peter, James, and John going to pray.

But the guys keep falling asleep instead of praying. And Jesus has gone to talk to His Father, to ask if there's not some way for life to go well without this awful stuff happening to him. He asks three times. That makes me think that maybe He's not hearing anything back. Either that, or He's getting an answer He doesn't like. But he decides to believe God knows better and says, basically, "Do it your way, not mine." That's pretty intense. And cause for all kinds of theological unrest within the trinity, but I'm glad to understand Jesus as fully human here, because that makes sense to me...praying the same thing over and over, not sure if you're hearing (or not hearing) right, hoping you've heard wrong, hoping more prayer will change God's mind anyway. And then you're interrupted by more bad news.

So there is Jesus with his three sleepy friends and then here comes Judas back with the Roman soldiers to arrest Him.

Peter chops off the ear of one of the soldiers. Jesus says, "No, that's not how this is going to go down," puts the ear back on the soldier, and lets them take him away to be tried and killed. And he knows that's what He's doing, because where does he end up? At the house of the high priest, Caiaphas, who had already been talking with his friends about how it's be better for Jesus to die than not. I don't think anyone's expecting a fair trial, here. Peter and John follow along to the house and wait outside to see what's going to happen. It's there that Peter, in a weird rush of self-interest, calls down curses on himself and swears he's never had anything to do with Jesus in his whole life. Peter was one of Jesus's closest friends.

He's then taken alone before Pilate, who tries to release him. But then all those people who had been praising Jesus the week before, who thought He was going to come and be their king by overthrowing the Romans, show their disappointment in Him and His methods by asking for the release of a violent revolutionary instead. So then, when Jesus gets to the cross, He's up there all by himself, with the rest of the world either against Him or powerless to be for Him.

And while He's up there, He yells, "My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?" I know there is a big discussion to have about that. How is God not really with Jesus? Is it because of the sin of the world? Maybe Jesus is just saying that and God the Father didn't really leave Him, after all. I don't think it matters...at least not for me right now. What matters is that, in the hardest time of His life, Jesus at least feels all alone. No one is helping Him. No one is saving Him. And, because He decided not to do it His own way, He's not even saving Himself. And He's going through that so He can later be with us forever. But He wasn't in the euphoric forever yet. No. He did all this in the, "Why, God?" where the rest of us live.

And then, with His last words, He trusted His soul to the one He didn't understand. "Into Your hands I commit My spirit."

Now, none of my questions are bigger than the one Jesus was asking. And none of my deciding to trust God anyway has such high stakes for me. But I was so grateful to be reading through this story with the girls and learning myself how there's nowhere I go in life where Jesus hasn't gone before me to show me how to do it. Even when being an example for us, He still asked, "Why?" He still tried to come up with a better way for the world to work than what He saw coming down the line. And it's because I can follow Him there that I can follow Him to hoping against all hope that somehow all things really will work for good. Somehow.

That banana peel just talked to me!

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I preached the first sermon at youth camp this week. In that time, I said God was always speaking, always putting his word out there. And it's true. I've been learning a lot about God this week through my kitchen scraps and I thought I'd share. It starts off with the kids' memory verse for the week:

"Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in HIM."

This week, we’ve talked about how important it is to hide God’s Word – the book, the person, the spirit – in the clay of your heart and let it grow there into something way bigger than it started out being. Pat talked about how important it is to have the Word of God so we can resist the enemy, because we are in a real battle, here. We’ve talked about how we make ourselves too hard for the WORD to get in, how we have an enemy who tries to steal the seed, and how other people and things try block growth and kill the plant. That’s other people, a powerful demon, and even ourselves going against God’s Word taking root in our lives. Seems like a lot to battle, doesn’t it? Have you wondered what kind of heart you have? What kind of attack you’re most vulnerable to? Anyone feel like hiding and growing God’s Word is a little too much to ask of someone already dealing with life? Maybe you just feel like your life (or at least part of it) is too messed up to try and do something good with now. Does it sound like a great idea, but you’re just not sure you can really do it?

I have a great idea for you: Compost.

What is compost?

It’s the best kind of dirt. But it’s not just any dirt, or else, they’d just call it “dirt.” It’s made out of things that were alive, but now are broken, half-dead, not good to eat or useful for anything anymore. You know, the part of grass that gets too long. The ends of carrots no one wants to eat. The apple that got really gross. The sticks that fell out of the tree during last week’s storm. The leaves after the kids are all done playing in them in the fall. Even…poop. No good. Gross. Gone bad. Dead. Ugly. Whatever.

Who makes compost?

Well, first let’s see who doesn’t: the grossed-out person who would throw the nasty apple in the trash, the person who only wanted to use that coffee bean and then throw it out, the person who thought that the grass was too tall, or that the grape was a little too wrinkly. The knife doesn’t make the compost, either. And neither does the animal or the wind and lightning. They didn’t turn the broken branch into compost. You know what else can’t make compost? The dirt.

If you’re feeling like you can’t possibly make your heart right, well…you’re right. You probably can’t. But the farmer can. And we know who the farmer would be in this story, right? God. Our Father. The one who cares for us. Our Redeemer – the only One who can take all the bad things and make them into something good: compost!

So have you thought about it? Do you feel like maybe there are too many weeds in your life? Do you feel like the real you – the good one – is being crowded out? Are you feeling a little shallow? Like there should be more to your life, but you’re always just short of it? Have you been walked on over and over again like the path and just become too hard? Maybe you made yourself hard so you wouldn’t get squashed the next time. Maybe you’ve had some seeds stolen from you in life. Maybe you need some compost.

Can you see where I’m going? Maybe other people just see a bunch of mess. Maybe you just see a bunch of mess. Or you have a bunch of dead stuff lying around in your life. Bits and piece of broken things that are good for nothing anymore. Like stomped-on leaves or broken branches. Maybe there are parts of good things left over that you don’t know what to do with. Things you had to offer the world that just weren’t needed – that got cut off. Like the top of a carrot or a blade of grass. Maybe you’ve been neglected. No one (including you) has paid attention to certain things about you and you’ve sat in the refrigerator and gotten all moldy and soft and yucky. We all have junk lying around. And there’s nothing to do with it. We have broken relationships. Things about us that just aren’t right. Things in our life that aren’t ever going to grow again. Wasted. Needing to be thrown away. Maybe you feel like your whole life needs to be tossed out. Maybe you just wish you could start over and want to scrap it all.

Well, I’m here to tell you that there’s more than one way to throw dead, broken things out. You can just throw them in your trash, where they’ll stink and be nasty until someone else comes and gets them and then they’ll be nasty somewhere else and nothing good will come from them. You can litter them around so everyone can see your mess and your drama and it can make even the places around you look nasty. Or you can give your trash to God and let Him do something with it. It takes time. It takes a little skill. It takes some heat and letting Him do some digging around in there, but it produces something He can really work with to make some beautiful, tasty stuff.

And that’s not about trusting yourself. Nowhere in the Bible are we told to trust ourselves. But what is your memory verse for the week? Blessed is the one who trusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in HIM. We can trust God with our good, bad, and ugly. We can trust Him with the stuff we can’t do anything good with. He’s the only one we can trust with it. He’s the farmer who knows what he’s doing and he can make it into something different so no one can go digging up the nasty stuff anymore. That’s what “redeem” means: to give something its true value. He can redeem your life, and He does it by taking what’s useless to Him making into something very usable.